Love her belly

January 24, 2013

Sadly our distorted Western culture has taught us that to be attractive we have to look a certain way. Not only does this dishonour the deeper truth of who we are but on another level it discourages us from expressing ourselves through our bodies in a full and healthy way. One of the ways in which our societies distorts the body image, especially in the feminine is to hold up the image of the stomach held in as one which we are supposed to believe is attractive. The immature masculine concept of the feminine holds that a sucked-in stomach is something to be desired and admired. The good news, ladies, is that this is an incredibly unhealthy belief and one which I hope to go some way to dispel here.

Feel Joy and Sadness Through the Belly

In holding our stomachs in, we are using a very successful method of restricting and controlling our emotions. A contracted belly is one which does not allow for the full expression of feelings. Think about a time when we allowed ourselves to cry – to really cry and release through our tears. In those moments our belly is heaving, as we breathe into it and release the sadness or grief which is held in our bodies. Think about a time when you have had a really good laugh. Again the belly is expanded – it’s not called a “belly laugh” for nothing!

The Importance of the Belly

Not only are our emotions held in the belly, aligned with the second chakra in Eastern philosophy, but also our intuition is held there too. We may have a “gut feeling” about someone or something. We can feel in our guts some unspoken thing and this is especially true for women who have a heightened sense of this awareness. Again, holding our stomach contacted deadens and disconnects us from that sense of intuition.

It is in this area too, in the woman, that life is created. The womb sits in the same area. Here is where our deeply held desires have their conception. It is where we carry them and, again sometimes in the case of women, life itself in the form of the foetus/embryo. This area is the home of our creativity, again held in the second chakra.

The Belly and Sex

The belly (second chakra) is also the seat of our sexuality. Pornographic and media imagery of women portrays the flat stomach as something sexually desirable. Sadly this could not be further from the truth. Having a belly is a sign of a mature woman – so, ladies: learn to love your belly! Its roundness implies a fullness and openness to the true mature feminine which the mature masculine truly desires. Having no belly is the sign of an adolescent girl. If your belly is withdrawn and sucked in cuts, you will cut yourself off from your sexuality by disconnecting your heart from your pelvis. How can a you soften into the melting richness of your feminine if you hold your belly in? It’s no coincidence that Victorian ladies wore corsets. It served to strap up and suppress their sexual desires. Perhaps a looseness of belly implied a looseness of moral character. We have ditched corsetry for the most part but sadly have retained the imagery of the constrained belly as desirable.

This image of the sucked in stomach as being desirable can be connected with the immature masculine. An immature man does not want a woman in her full creativity, in her full sexuality, in her full power. It makes him feel very threatened and small. But a mature man values these aspects of the feminine in all her glory and welcomes them. If you want to attract a man who is truly in his masculine, don’t be afraid to let your belly be soft and round. Real men will love it!


If your stomach is held in, you cannot breathe properly. Air is drawn into the lungs but the diaphragm cannot push downwards and so a full intake of breathe cannot be achieved. This constriction stops us connecting with our emotions, our sexuality. It also creates a disconnect between the upper chakras and the lower chakras. If we don’t breathe properly, we can often find that we may have full movement of energy in our base three chakras, and a good flow of energy in the highest three chakras, but there is a block somewhere between them that stops them connecting. Of course the heart (being at the level of the lungs) also cannot connect fully with the genitals if we do not allow our breath to go beyond the lungs and drop down in to the belly and ultimately into the genitals themselves.

Softening the Belly – A Simple Exercise

Stand upright with your feet about shoulder width apart. Breather through an open mouth, taking long, slow breathes down into the belly. Do not force the breath but be aware of how deep you allow it to go. Allow the knees to be soft and slightly bent. Bounce lightly with the knees, allowing them to soften, keeping your feet firmly grounded on the floor. Let the bouncing move gently up your body until you feel it soften your pelvis too. Continue to allow this to soften and then bring that softening up to the belly. Give the muscles of your belly a rest! Allow them to relax so that your belly becomes soft and rounded. Fill it with air from your in-breath and gently expel it. Again, do not force the breath just allow it to enter the belly, fill it and leave it as you exhale.

As you do this exercise, be aware of how deeply you allow yourself to breathe. Notice any tensions you carry in your belly. Does your belly distend and become rounded and softer? How does having a round belly make you feel about yourself? There’s no need to do anything about this, don’t make any judgements you have about this wrong, simply observe how it feels to allow your body to do this and how you feel about yourself in this place.

The Belly Beautiful

Allow yourself to be more fully in your feminine by loving your belly, just as it is. Show your femininity by breathing into your belly and letting it become soft and round. Feel yourself more fully though the beautiful roundedness of your belly. Only when the belly is in its fullness can you also be in the fullness of your feminine grace, softness and beauty. Stepping more deeply into this soft feminine through engagement with your belly will help you attract more masculine men into your life.

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